Train Tracks

Yesterday was a good day and then an awful day. Life proves

to you that it's meant to be experienced in moments rather than

hours, days or years. At least that's what it seems to want to

teach me anyways.

It was a sunny spring ish - day with a mild temperature and a slight

breeze. My kind of perfect day. I am behind schedule on daily

duties including life stuff but nature beckoned me after a very

long winter. I decided to hop on the train and head into town.

It was a freeing feeling and I allowed myself to bask in the joy

of the day. I spent the day walking, shopping and people watching.

The sun was starting to go down and I decided to head back to the

apartment. Little did I know that I would soon experience March

of 2022 all over again.

The subway station was packed but that wasn't unusual for rush hour.

After awhile, I noticed the train never pulled away from the station. I heard a few

announcements but couldn't make out what the conductor was saying.

It wasn't until I realized nothing was moving and nothing felt usual.

I looked at my app and read that a passenger had been hit by a train on my

line to get back. My mind immediately scanned the note. Did I read this correctly?

Was this what I thought it could be? It couldn't be - not so close to your anniversary.

Is life so cruel that I have to experience it in another way with someone else?

I started crying and shaking. Luckily, I had my sunglasses and most people with their heads in their phones never noticed the woman crying in the subway car. My phone was about to power off and I was frozen in grief. I could have left the train but I didn't know where to go and it was getting dark. It took me 2 hours to get back home.

What were the passengers thinking on that day in March? Do they still carry this grief with them? Do they feel uneasy when they hear a train whistle? What was this other passenger feeling? I didn't know so I cried. I cried for the passenger. I cried for you and I cried for me. My tears spilled into the night and into today. I miss you my dear sweet beautiful friend.

( AI was not used for this post. It's all my ramblings. )